I surrender…

a short story

Nicole’s heart felt heavy as she poured out her thoughts into her journal. I have the husband who I love dearly but he wants kids now, I have a job that I love but discontentment is slowly coming in. I am in a spiritual place that I have never been before , but yet there are some things still missing in my life . I can’t seem to fake the funk I feel when I see couples having babies or see coworkers getting advances. Or even the pressure of wanting to do more but feeling as if it’s just not my time yet. Or sometimes I feel as if I'm just not quite sure of what I want to do or how to do it.There are so many things I desire but feel as if so many things are in the way. I want children but need the promotion to financially take care of the kids. I want the promotion but don’t know if I want to stay at the job. I want to be more involved at church but my elderly parents have so many needs. I want what you have for me Lord but I let fear get in way because of the unknown.

“And clearly I still need help on my overthinking.” Nicole chuckled to herself, as tears started to fall. Then the words THEY THAT WAIT UPON THE LORD flashed across her mind. Instantly Nicole was able to remember how faithful God has been to her. How God saved her and gave her a new beginning. He removed her from a life of sin-even bringing her to a new state with a new church home and family. She met a man of God that showed her a tremendous difference from past relationships. He showered her with the love of Christ and doesn’t pressure her, but instead reminds her of who God is. He gave her a job that identifies her purpose and life journey. She has been blessed with parents who are supportive and have been healed from life threatening illness. The list can go on and on.

“God has never left me & He never will!” Nicole said out loud with thankfulness. She remembers the trials she had to go through to get to what she has now. Nicole closes her eyes and begins to pray, “Yes, I feel like this now, but I believe it will all work out for me. I don’t have all the answers and may even feel pulled in different directions but God, I know you have the answer. You are the way, truth and life. My steps are ordered by you! I will not let the enemy try to destroy me with comparison. I will remember that on this race everyone will have a different pace and a different journey but if I forget what lies behind and press forward I WILL get the prize! I believe you can change things around in all my situations so that my desires will be met. At the end of the day Lord, I surrender it all to you. The job, my family, my life! I don’t want to be anxious, overthink or stress anymore. You said to cast every care upon you because you care for me! Let your will be done in my life, Lord and not my own . I trust you and surrender. In Jesus name, Amen."

This story resonates with me because at times, I feel as if I’m behind. However, where we are in life is exactly where we are supposed to be. Of course, there will be times where we can always do more, but we have to be careful that we don’t get ahead of God. Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). We can’t try to figure things out on our own or press the issue of getting things done. It may not be time for the things we want to occur yet. We pray for things and don’t know how to handle them when they come.  God has promised us rest for our souls. Besides, you don’t know what God is working out behind the scenes, as well as doing what is needed to prepare you. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose (Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬). God can take your dreams and make them into reality, according to His will. Remember that God's timing is not yours- just like the song lyrics say, “He may not come when you want Him but He’ll be there right on time, He’s a on time God.”

Surrender to His way.

Isaiah 40:31 but they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint

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Psalm 27:13 I had fainted, Unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living

Isaiah 58:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.”

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